Saved By Cheese

Here is my attempt to reproduce the most amazing story told by my EMT partner, Felton:

So, it was around 1972 and I was working in the James County jail. I was in the jail's kitchen, and someone had just purchased those single cheese slices wrapped in plastic. I had never seen them before and was just amazed and confused as to why anyone would buy single slices of cheese. We used to just have a wheel of cheese and a knife, but here were little individual plastic wrapped slices of cheese. I made a cheese and ham sandwich went on with my day.

Anyway, a bit later a man runs into the jail and says "You need to come help my friend, he is really hurt." This guy seemed pretty agitated, so I asked "Where is this friend?"

"Out in the parking lot, in my truck."

So I follow him out to the parking lot, and sure enough there is his truck, and all I see is a man slumped over in the passenger seat.

(At this point Felton himself slouches over, chin on chest, arms hanging at sides, eyes closed).

I open the truck door and whoa, there is this much (thumb and finger held two inches apart) blood pooled on the floor. After I get his shirt off I realize he has been shot 7 times in the chest and has two sucking chest wounds. And this friend tells me this was over a pool game.

Then I remember the new cheese. I tell this friend to run into the jail kitchen and grab me a few of these individual slices of cheese wrapped in plastic. He goes and gets them, and I put these plastic wrapped slices of cheese over the sucking chest wounds, then tear-up the guy's shirt and tie it real tight around him, like they told us in Vietnam.

Soon enough the ambulance shows up, and they take him away. A few weeks later I was talking to one of the ambulance guys and he says, "You remember that cheese guy?"

"Yep."

"Doctor said you probably saved his life."

"Okay."

"But he sure wasn't expecting cheese slices under his bandage."