Parent Poetry

Maybe this will be funny to people without children, maybe not.  Thank you Karen for sending this mass email from All and Sundry.

My three favorites (can you tell which baby trait I find least endearing?):

I can hardly believe
how much noise can come from
such a small creature.
I must hide you away for the good of mankind
lest the military discover
your powers.

If you stop that screaming
I will pay you
Eleventy jillion dollars.
Really
I promise
Here is a check.

Yelling from the backseat is bad
it makes Mama's head
feel like a balloon that is about to pop
Balloons are pretty to look at, aren't they?
but believe me
Mama's popped head-balloon is something
you would need lots of therapy
to forget you ever saw.
Someone would have to come take you home
and a nice man named Mr. Wolf would have to clean up Mama's car.
So please,
let's be quiet back there.