I think I'm turning Southernese

OK, I think I'm turning Southernese. Thank god my mom doesn't read this blog, or she'd be quite sad. We had a superbowl party. No, that's not any more southern than anything. What we did at the superbowl party was. We fried a turkey. I know, everyone does it. But where I come from, yeah the snooty northeast, turkeys are roasted, with lots of basting and stress. None of this simple fry it for 45 minutes. We also had several of our friends over to help us eat it. It was awesome. (you may note, although if you do you're way uptight, that I'm going back and forth between 1 and 2 spaces between sentences. Apparently 2 spaces has been deprecated, as in it's no longer cool, but I still do it).
Frying a turkey:
First, find a fryer. Fortunately my co-worker was kind enough to lend us hers.
Second, buy lots of cheap oil in big boxes from Wal-Mart.
Third, lots of heat, as seen in the photo to the left.
Fourth, measure how much oil you need by putting the turkey in the pot and filling it with water, then taking the turkey out, and using that much oil.
Fifth, after heating that oil to 375-400 degrees, so it's good and dangerous, insert turkey.
This next photo illustrates the insertion step:

Note the extra flame beneath the burner. This is caused by the superheated oil flowing over the top of the pot because 1) I didn't cut a big enough hole in the bottom of the turkey, and 2) the turkey was still wet from step #4 above. As most of you know, water and superheated oil don't mix that well.
Sixth, hold the turkey 1/2 in the oil for quite some time while you slowly displace enough fuel, err, oil, to get the turkey into the pot.
Seventh, we've gotten through all the fun steps, so finish cooking the turkey and then enjoy it with your friends.

Oh, one last thing: Go Giants!